and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
