just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize