He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
