There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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