She said her name was "party"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
