that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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