u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
