It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
