"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
