Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
