i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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