Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
