And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
