I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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