I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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