yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
