He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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