oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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