he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
