party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
