There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
