Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
