My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
