You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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