and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
