Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
