he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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