oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry about my life...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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