This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
