I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
