Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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