Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
