you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
