My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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