We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
