It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
