I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
