I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize