? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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