Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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