then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
