Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
