He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my shit smells like andre
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
