stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
