TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I skipped work to stalk him.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
