But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
