btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
