im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
