$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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