I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
