Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
