Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize