I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
