first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im having a threesome with these popsicles
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
