But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
