At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
