Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
