if you like me you must not know who I am
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
