I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
