And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
